10 October 2008

The Forbidden+Prohibited Questions are..

..the BN-Qs ( 'Bila Nak' Questions.)

I always...i mean, ALWAYS cringe when people start their next conversation with a 'so..' because I know I would have to brace myself to fake a smile and come up with a polite answer (& stop myself from saying 'MYOB'(mind your own beeswax) ,'No comment' or 'Pass' or maybe 'next question please').

It has always been defaulted for a single working lady to be asked about when is she getting married. The famous question will be stalking her from mouth to mouth especially from her immediate family, demanding+busybody-never-wash-your-body-relatives and married friends. Where then she will fake a polite plastic smile and answer 'when the time is right / when I found my Mr.Right/ when I'm stable /Financially ready and etc. with hope the topic will die at that point but Nooooo..... then (with big bulging eyes & full of gold bracelets wrists waving franticly like wasping a big fly on your lap or shoulders) comes the predicted blow of advice about being an old maid for being too choosy, or difficulties to get conceived and yada yada yada. The victim (the single lady, not the big fly) will then wish+pray hard for the day when the haunting questions & unwanted advices will finally end... Diyana was obviously one of those victims who is currently i believe suffering with the 2nd phase of BN-Qs..I truly understand how you felt on that post! Please do not be surprised that these 'Bila Nak..' (BN) questions & 'Nanti Kalau Lambat..' (NKL) advices will never..NEVER stop haunting you until the day you die (unless you can still hear what others are talking about, you may still be haunted with BN-Qs & NKL-As in your grave) Here, let me list them all predicted+possible BN-Qs that you will be haunted and stalked with for the rest of your life....i'm not posting any of the NKL-As since there's too many of them.

It si pretty much obvious you are haunted starting after you have graduated or started working..

BN-Qs for the Single Ones: All starting with a 'so..'
  1. bila nak kawin?
  2. when is the happy date?
  3. have you decided to change your single status?
  4. bila nak tamatkan zaman bujang ni? (i can laugh to death if anyone ask me the exact Q)
  5. are you srtaight? (seriously, they do have the nerve to ask this)

BN-Qs for the Newly Weds: All starting with a 'so..' (currently what I'm haunted with..*sigh)
  1. is there a bun cooking in the oven yet?
  2. kau dah ada isi belum?
  3. dah berisi ke?
  4. bila nak jadi mummy?
  5. when can I be an uncle/auntie?
  6. when are you planning to have a baby?
  7. Are you/your husband fertile / futile? (ooh yes, they do ask this)
BN-Qs for the new Mum& Dad: All starting with a 'so..'
  1. is there a 2nd bun cooking in the oven yet?
  2. when is (your 1st child name) going to have a sister/brother?
  3. how many years are you planning to gap your kids?
  4. how many are you planning to have?
  5. are you sure the baby is yours? (okay, I'm joking)
After the 2nd child, maybe you can then rest for a while from the BN-Qs & NKL-As until your kids are old enough to take exams, graduated or started working or married or having their 1st baby..for all these BN-Qs & NKL-As will come back to haunt you with a slight different new look. that is.. 'Bila Anak Kau Nak' Questions (BAKN-Qs ) & 'Nanti Kalau Anak Kau Lambat..' Advices (NKAKL-As)... *sigh*.. i told u so.

i wish i can say..'okay, aku dah malas layan kau dan soalan2 tak best kau dan nasihat2 tak glamer kau yang tak habis2 nak menunjuk apa yg kau ada or dah buat.aku nk pegi terjun bangunan kejap sebab dah tak tahan meluat lagi menyampah. ciao.' then show them this face.. oh how i wish...


makhluk ijau said...

most question u blh jawab mcm nie kalau dah mls sgt.. "eh.. dah la.. semlm.. xtau ker..?? lambat update la u all nie.. menchi.." hehe..

bastard united said...

so bila nak.......

lepak sesama nie...

sHibI said...

ive experienced it too..*sigh*
and i hate it

Anonymous said...

Be greatfull that someone actually wanted to know something about you or what's happen in your life or your plans. If they ask means they care, if they share their experience means they want you to learn something and dun want you to make the same mistakes... think about it :)

ibrahim_n said...

hehhehe so this is how u girls feel when the question is ask..i'll try to make it less painful by trying not to ask this type of question.. hehehehhe

Anonymous said...

so...bila? heheheheh

camna nih...aku kalah la betting camnih. ko keje keras skett..


Azealea Dz said...

*makhluk ijau:i wish i could do that or answer them straight after they said "so,.." but then penat jugak aku nak kena tahan sekeh lepas tu..

*bastard utd: jom..layan arbok show rabu nih! auw!

*shibi: tu baru 1st phase beb..hihi..

*anonymous: Oh yeah..I do think about it each time I was asked (trillion of times) and I couldn't agree more with you that they ask & share because they care.. but to constantly asking the same set of questions and share the same set of advice (which was experienced by other people or what they only heard from other peep or then brag about how good she's doing) over and over again each time we meet/talk (which is almost once a week).. it gets old and tiring to stay polite. sometimes I can just assume that they are not good at making conversations and starting with the topic on 'getting married/having a baby' would be the best topic ever for them and expect us unmarried ladies/ newlyweds to be excitedly jumping up&down to join in. or they are persistent to make me do what they are suggesting by putting me under the pressure like this. (i hope you're not the one who's committing this 'crime'. hehe).They need to be more sensitive to others situation and feelings.One might just had a terrible break-up / not in a good condition to have a baby and etc. Oh well, at least I like this question "how's married life?" totally love it! (both the question and the married life) So let me enjoy it first and we both get all the attention from each other before being ready to proceed with the next step (parenthood) -where then the both will be blinded with the baby's presence. hehe

*ibrahim_n: unless you are placing a bet and sharing it with me 50-50 on when we'll get married/have a baby (like some people *wink2) then it wont be painful at all... :)

*skidall: sgaje la kasi ko kalah bet..dah ko xnk share 50-50! huahauhua

makhluk ijau said...

xelok bet2 nie.. tuhan marah.. hehe..

Anonymous said...

alaa...aku mmg nak share...kan dah decleare hari tu?

sHibI said...

serious babe..kdg2 aku cam nak bunuh jek org yg tanye soklan yg bg aku sgt sensitip..bangkai betul~

ILi said...

Azea...aku setuju 100% and aku mengerti.tak pe takpe...makin banyak soalan ko dapat..makin ko akan pandai nak menjawab atau mengelak dr kene soalan tu lagi.percaye ler..aku kan berpengalaman..skang aku kene soalan yg 2nd child tu..hampehss~