A possible regret?

I am now 36weeks pregnant with my 2nd child, Alhamdulillah. And again, Alhamdulillah it will be a girl this time, InShaaAllah :) Finally I don't need to drool & look stupid each time I go goo-goo-gaga over a flowery frocks or pink booties while pushing a baby boy in the stroller. Yeay!

InShaaAllah,  Alee's 1st younger sister (yes yes..we r planning to have more) will be named 'Aymee' which means 'blessings' in Arabic.

It was only less than a year gap from my 1st delivery so in between the new baby & my career, I have not got the chance to go all out with my outdoor activities that I love so much such as mountain biking, hiking and traveling. To get back into shape took me half a year, to get my stamina & pace back was another demotivating issue because I don't see the point of working for it if I am planning for a 2nd child right away after my son starts walking steadily (11months). Now who would have understand that particular situation where it would just be labelled as an 'excuse'. Yes, only another mother who is going/had gone through the same thing would.  Fathers?  Sonetimes they get it, but most of the time they don't.  Sorry guys, you really really have not got a clue how it is like to watch /let you go do what we both love to do together before the baby comes while we pregnant women sloth at home either vomitting until we are as green+thin as a celery stick for the 1st 4 months then dragging our heavy feet, bulging belly & aching back 24/7 for the next 5 months. Oh we don't sloth by then since the nesting period starts at 6 months onwards, so we sort of strut & dash here and there fretting over crumpled baby hankies or digging over the old boxes for newborn toys to wash and dry for the new baby with a ticking sound at the back of our mind remibdibg us we don't have much time left and the baby is coming anytime soon now.

The sacrifices we women make to be pregnant and deliver a baby is not just about the shape of our body, dear men and fathers out there. It's sacrificing the type of life we have built and love for so much before (and still do). Starting from our body shape, our unpredictable raging hormones (it was already unpredictable when we were not pregnant so imagine how bad it is when we are), the type of fashion we have to let go to fit the new body shape and ease our daily routine to accomodate things like breastfeeding,  baby puke/drool and does not show how much you have sweat from 'mummsies sport' activities such as either chasing after your toddler or changing their diapers while pinning them down on the changing matt with your other hand (yes, that requires some wrestling, screaming, threatening and tons of sweating) or lifting the stroller in and out of the car trunk in a rush -worried of possible hijackers while you are meddling at the back of the car while your toddler is in their car seat.

How can I possibly be satisfied with all that compared to the things I had to let go when fathers can choose their time to put on or take off their world's-greatest-daddy hats and go enjoy their outdoor activities still? While we women will be either too busy with work, house chores or family commitments so we have no time at all to do what we love to do. It's a 'world's-greatest-mum hat stitched around our head.

So no, this is not a regret. It is only a frustration.

On last Sunday morning..

Oh how time flies sooo fast...

Alee is now 1year and 8months.
Mulut dia kecoh bukan main ye.
If it's not signging, he'll be repeating phrases or an animal sound.

He knows he'll be a big brother soon coz if I ask him "where's adik?" He will tap my growing belly. If "where's abang?"- sometimes he'll tap his chest or buat dunno je.Ha ha. Oh well, he'll be 2years and 1month old when I am due so I have no expectations lah.

It's amazing to see how he's progressing. Picking up your words and actions so easily and so fast like installing an App to your phone.

Ibu and Ayah loves you so much, more and more each day, Alee baby. No matter how productive I'll be, you will always be my 1st lil Alee-gator ssugarbunbun!

*smoochies*

Happenings

Pictures to tell em all..

Sniff to bed

Bermulalah zaman membawa baju terpakai baby pulak pegi outstation.. baju terpakai 'mashem' daddy nye? erm...he he he

kaki oh kaki..

bila lu mau kurus balik? *meraung*

The Alee-gator

If I had a baby, including the 9months pregnancy period, he/she would be 1month old by now...
That is how long I have stopped blogging.

So, true enough, my little darling IS now 1 month old. he he he

Alee Bin Mohd Farhan
now that I have you, I don't know what I would do without..

I am now in the midst of my confinement, can't wait for the final day in a 13more days to gooooo!!
I miss all d food i've been stuffing my face with when I was heavily pregnant with ridiculous cravings! Here's proof to show how I have bloated up.. (at the beach in PD and in my new cycling jersey I can't wait to wear and cycle sooooon!)











So 44days of confinement is like a home arrest or quarantine which can cause a serious damage to your brain a.k.a brain dead if u do not have a cable tv or the internet to at least console your wanderlust heart. My mom said that during the 44days, even the baby has 44 type of behaviour. True enough, there are days I was also sleeping like a baby and days I was kept awake like the security guard at the banks. I was going nuts at one point, sleep deprived can make you really wanna go coocko. It's not like the baby was crying all the time, but he wants breastmilk 24/7. Therefore, I have transformed into a NZ farmcow,heavily producing milk like for the whole kampung. Sometimes it is depressing, but somehow all the hardship seems worth it when you look at the angelic toothless smile of the baby, or when they coo..but definetely not when they poo :p (man, this little boy's poo is like a mashed pumkin pie..and he is also producing it for the whole kampung! )

The pregnancy process was truly awesome and I would love to go trough it again and again (since I can eat like a hungry ghost and forget about the weight gain and the way people around you treat you extra nice! ) But the delivery process...hmm...I have doubts wether I would want to go trough it again.(the normal, no epidural or anesthetic whatsoever way) The contraction was 24hours long but the pushing last only 3minutes? Thank God for good friends--->
who kept me company with conversations, bad jokes and laughter (someone forgot the bloody poker cards) it doesn't seem so bad afterall (sugarcoated!) untill it was time to deliver! That is the most unbearable part. It felt like my spine was splitting into pieces and my whole body was shaking from trying to fight the pain. I am still traumatic right now, so no astro-BIO channel (i didnt know i was pregnant shows & etc) for me for at least a year or so :)

This is the baby who I took with me in my tummy to Bangkok at 3months old of pregnancy (where he 1st kicked! a sign to say 'u have done enough walking for the day,mummy') and to Medan at 6months old of pregnancy where I was lucky I didn't get diabetes from all the eating spree :)

So to prove that I am now suffering from brain damage and could not think of any interesting stuff to write, I'm just going to sum this up for now..hehe

I am glad & grateful to have this baby and a very supporting husband along the way. (you should see his face in the labour room,people..hihi) I hope this blessed life will continue until forever and a day..Amin.

Our family was complete before, and it is now a whole lot more better :)

The father's blog about the baby..

LIBUR = hOLIDAY (yeay!)

we are off for a long deserved family holidaaayyyyy...todaaayyyy!!!

Satay Padang & Teh Botol, here I come!

Have you ever

felt like you desperately need to talk to someone, to pour your heart out about something that has been piling up for so long but you don't know who you can trust? Who can be neutral on what you would be sharing about? Who would not judge you and still feel the same way about you even after knowing what you have spilled? It's not like I have committed a murder or something that serious, but I am no superwomen, and I have feelings, and currently to make it even worse, I am pregnant. So don't forget about this crazy, ridiculous, raging hormones fluctuating faster than any stocks in any share markets!

Sigh.. I am probably starting my nesting period. I cant stop doing the hse chores even when my back n legs are killing me. But somehow these chores calms me down, maybe they take my mind of things. well, at least for a while. In my case, that is good enough considering I have no one to talk to anyway, tried talking to the cat and after 3seconds I felt like a lunatic+nincompoop.

I should just hit the sack,eh. Save the heartache for myself any anyone else. Why not? Night night everyone..hugs!

It wasn't that bad at all :)

The Mercury Monsta (022)- June, Me & Syaz

Nervous..

I survived! we survived!
We (Mercury Monsta) finished 33/45 with time 1hr 58mins
First place finished at 1hr 9mins.
49 mins difference for a non-pro like us dah cukup bagusssss :P

Congrats ladies and thanks to all who supported us!

m I'glad with the KKK group as well who finished at 29th place :)

Next... is the Langkawi International Mountain Bike Challenge 2010
it's a 2 days race (6hrs endurance and 1hr++ sprint)
Another suicide attempt..hi hi

Will this be another suicide attemp?

Mountain Bike Speed Challenge 2010 by Putrajaya Challenge Park
It's tomorrow.
It will be my first race ever! (The one in Uni doesn't count eh)
It will be a relay race against time.
I would be in the only all-girls-team competing against the mixed and all-men-team
I will be the first rider, Syaz's second and June to wrap it up.
So for those all-men-team who finished later than us, you can go back and cry under your mum's armpits and put up your bike in the bbs for sale. hi hi
All the best dear ladies and the rest of the team out there. ..let's have fun!!

It has been a while..

..since I last cook :)
and here is the evidence!

is this an alien invasion? guess again..

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It's my shallots in the fridge! :D

Thank god the fried kuey teow I made was eatable. he he

Semangat Kentang!!

Date : 21 April 2010
Peeps : Farooq
Distance : 28+-km (Ampang - Melawati up to Daim's residence -Ampang)
Max speed : km/h (both didn't bring along the gadget)
Average speed : N/A (yet)
Cal burn : N/A (yet)

Yup! I went for a ride again this morning. I was all flat like a dead fish early in the morning until Farooq sms came in for a ride. Yeaaahhh!! Funny how a sport could make u all charged up and flat and charged up again within just 12 hours. In 20mins we meet up at Flamingo's and head on. it was my 1st ride ever on MRR2 and up to Melawati. and not to mention, Daim's 'little' place :) we went up until the gate to the dam and turn back to the along the Melawati area and then Farooq lead me back for a second loop. Oh ooooo! I screamed a bit out of ..I don't know, shock maybe and told him to go ahead and I'll just wait since I dare not to push myself too much for I do not want to be too tired for my appointment later, but then maybe out of empathy he decided to turn back as well :p (I hate it when people had to turn back for others but since he explained he need to finish early anyway, so I dare not to argue further.heh) It was all cycling for my watermelon juice then. Then we head home, hit the showers and head out for my 1pm appointment. I love the feeling after the fresh shower,after a good workout. My whole body and mood felt loose and light and my appointment turn out to be a successful one! To hell with the tan line and Oyeahh...I love my weekday & weekend warriors! (Yes, you know who you are!!)

An embarrassing suicide night ride

Date : 20 April 2010
Peeps : Ismanor, Zool, Hassan, Syed & June (on her scoot)
Distance : 30+km
Max speed : 40++km/h
Average speed : N/A (yet)
Cal burn : N/A (yet)

I have not got the chance to cycle for the past one week since I was busy with case-closing and the wedding prepartion for my brother in law in Johor Bharu (last weekend and this weekend as well.yes,boo me.bluegh!) So as usual Is has this night ride on the DUKE highway which starts from Ampang (either Ampang point or the Ampang Putra) and heads to Hartamas or Solaris, so I call him up to join the ride since I didn't get to join Farooq for the morning ride, and Is told me to regroup at the usual place. Guess what, I ended up cycling up to Damansara Perdana in +-45mins with only 1 stop at the first toll for less than a minute. I cycled like a Speedy Gonzales trying my best to catch up with the guys. I will lose them at each time at we go ascending by then i will no longer be in the draft with the pack and left to draft on my own. super shoot! Luckily June was there scooting along with her scoot,syg June! :) I don't mind being left behind, but I do bloody mind when the pack had to slow down or stop and wait for me. Owh nooo...how embarrassing! At times like these I wish i'm not a girl at all! And so the first time in my cycling history (after the bad fall in Melaka Sahara Jamboree where i was sent back to base with a jeep) I called A'an to pick up my bike & me home. I have to admit, 1week of cycling holiday with tons of carbo loading can make u weak like a steamed kailan. Since there will be no cycling for me this weekend, I would have to work extra hard until the weekend comes. Ciayok!!

It Was 'Dam' Muddy but FUN!!

Cruisin @ : Batu Dam, Gombak.
Date : 11 April 2010
Peeps : A'an, Fio, Pyan, Jack Sunshine & Pa'an
Distance : km -have yet to get a new cateye.
Max speed : km/h --have yet to get a new cateye.
Average speed : N/A (yet) -have yet to get a new cateye.
Cal burn : N/A (yet) -have yet to get a new cateye /polar? hehhe

It was drizzling since before dawn, while the rest of the weekend warriors canceled their cycling plans, A'an was determined to go for it not even a tornado can stop him. (He was too busy to ride lately and the next two weekends as well, so..it's either today or next month!) so it was muddy and Jack's v-breaks were screaming like a pair of angry Nazgul's! Mine didn't :) I had my new clips and pedals on, this would be my 2nd offroad experience with these babies.. The 1st one was at FRIM with Is and the Adam's family. I had 1 endo plop! and 1 silly fall. where i had to spent the next 2days resting my scars, aches & bruises off. this time it was getting better. I finally had the muscle memory (a teeny weeny one) and managed to only get 1 small silly fall. Yeahoo!! So how do you like my new tattoo? :)